I’ve been MIA since my last blog, when I had that incredibly crazy, chaotic day. I’ve been MIA since my last blog because every week has been filled with more incredibly crazy, chaotic days. The school nurse is my bff and I’m pretty sure she must have my number memorized or on speed dial by now. I have gotten a call once a week for the past 4 weeks, last week, excluded, as we had two snow days and my kids are now being bribed. The week before last took the cake. I was driving to prek pickup at 2:30 and I had a missed call from the school, I listened, it went something like this, ” Hi Cari, it’s the nurse from the school, I just wanted to let you know I saw Evan today, he fell at recess and hurt his ankle. We iced it and he went back to class…” This is usually where she tells me if I have any questions to call her back, but then… “And while I have you on the phone, I wanted to let you know I saw Christopher today. He bumped his head on a cabinet, we iced it and he went back to class.” Yes the message continued to say the rest of that dialogue that I have memorized by now but I laughed to the point of crying! What is up with my kids? Oh, they are clumsy, and they take after me. This is what I had to tell my husband when he was in shock that they both spent time in the nurses office on Monday, Monday, the first day of the school week. Then Friday rolled around, yup, Friday. Friday I got a text from my brother in law saying the school couldn’t get in touch with me so my mother in law was picking Evan up from school. Excuse me, what? Substitute nurse, don’t get me started. Anyway, exactly 6 minutes lapsed between the first phone call and the phone call to my mother in law by the time I got the message, Evan came home, took a nap, and was ready to play, I said heck no kid, you wanted sick time, you got it, now you can help me clean and then go read. Meanwhile Christopher went to the substitute nurse with a headache, she gave him Tylenol and no phone call to me, but guess who woke up with 102 fever Saturday morning? Christopher. We are really just going in a circle now, because I got the fever Wednesday night, and then last night Evan puked in his bed, a top bunk disaster that makes me yell, FOR THE LOVE!!!!
FOR THE LOVE- this parenting thing is not for the faint of heart and if it weren’t for Jesus, my husband, and my dear sweet friends, I’d be in the fetal position right now but instead here I sit writing in hopes that someone will read this. Why? Because motherhood gets lonely sometimes. Forget motherhood, life gets lonely sometimes. It can feel isolating, especially when your kids are passing germs around like the darn wonder ball or hot potato, when you haven’t seen the outside world in days and you start to feel like things are never going to turn around because your finances suck, you are sleep deprived, hate your job, kids are whining, kids are fighting, the dishes are endless, the laundry from last week is still in the dryer, your husband is traveling, you have no family close by, your house is a mess, you are a mess, I am a mess, WE ARE NOT ALONE! Please hear me friends, we are not alone. We were not created to be alone. And I’m not even talking about marriage here because I heard an awesome talk on singleness last week(no I’m not looking to be single). I’m talking about doing life together, yes I do life with my husband, but when my firefighter is gone for 24/48/72 hours if I just sat here, I WOULD GO NUTS. I’ve been there, I’ve stressed, I’ve isolated, and I’d never go back there, for anything. Who are you doing life with? Do you have a friend you can call or text and drop honest truth bombs? “Like, talk me off my ledge here girlfiend, cause I’m freaking out!” or “I just exploded all over my kids/husband/everyone who would listen!” or “I’m feeling sad, I just want to cry, can we talk?” Do you have a friend you can do this with? In this day and age, it is easy to text a friend or get on facebook and feel connected to the world. But to be honest, facebook can leave me feeling empty. I see pictures posted on a Monday of families having an awesome adventure over the weekend and sometimes it rips my heart in two cause I was flying solo all weekend. I easily forget that I had my own awesome adventure not too long ago, but it gets pushed aside for instant gratification, I want what they have now! And texting is great, I do it way too much, just ask any friend I do life with, they will tell you. So yeah, texting is great, my sister and I live 2 time zones apart and it is by far the easiest way for us to communicate. But there is so much more to be said for face to face interaction. When we meet face to face, we can see in each other’s eyes how we are really doing, not how we are facebook doing, and really even a phone call, because don’t tell me you can’t hear that crack in your bffs voice when they are barely holding it together. When we do life together, it is ok to barely be holding it together because our friends can hold the broken pieces for us when we aren’t strong enough to do it ourselves.
Today when I couldn’t believe I had another sick kid in the house, I started to lose sight of my blessings and my purpose. The dialogue in my head was something about all the dishes, all the laundry and I believe the phrase I texted to a friend was something about all of this being endless. I lingered in that for a while until I felt sucker punched. I prayed, “God, I don’t want this work to end, I’m sorry that in this moment I’m taking it for granted and focusing on the wrong stuff, because if my boys weren’t here to be sick with a stomach bug, I would be so sad.” Do I want to put my 7 year old in a shower at 11pm after he puked all over his bed? No, I’d rather not. Do I want to fold laundry or tackle Mount Dish O Rama one more time today? Some days, let’s be honest, no, I would rather go sit on the couch with my novel, feet up, relaxing. But if having that moment, meant not having any of this, any of this incredibly crazy, chaotic, messy, cleaning puke kind of days, it wouldn’t be worth it. These are my blessings.
Recently I was introduced to the idea of kingdom work. If you are a Christian you believe that we are living in the between times. I just read this amazing book about the Lord’s Prayer and it talked about how even doing the mundane is kingdom work. So as I’m washing the pukey sheets I am doing Kingdom work. If I make a phone call or send a text to see how a friend is doing after a 5 day weekend from 3 snow days, I’m doing kingdom work. And I feel like kingdom work is my purpose.
If you are out there, and you’re not alone, and things are going pretty well, think of someone you can reach out to. Everyone needs someone.
If you are out there, alone, don’t. Grab a lifeline. Phone a friend. Text them if you can’t work up the courage to call. Do something. And don’t forget your purpose, because even in all the little things, you are doing an amazing job.